Which Christmas do You Celebrate? Revisited

As I saw the first few “put the Christ back in Christmas” and “It’s Merry Christmas not Happy Holidays” posts this year I found myself reacting to them differently than I have in past years. Instead of being in mild agreement I found myself feeling a bit offended.

After thinking on it a bit I realized the start of this change was present in my entry from last year, Which Christmas do You Celebrate? The short version on that one is that I’m quite comfortable with the idea that there are multiple celebrations, both secular and religious, going on this time of year. In fact, I’m likely to be involved with celebration at multiple levels both religious and secular.

Before I expand on that a bit take a minute or two and jot down all the things you can think of that you associate with Christmas. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

Feel free to take another minute. I’ll go get something to drink.

OK, ready?

Now look at your list. First, cross off everything that mentioned food or drink. Odds are very low that any of that has anything to do with Christ.

Got music on that list? OK, there are definitely some religious options in there. But if it’s “Silver Bells” or “Carol of the Bells” or “Walking in a Winter Wonderland” or…. Well you get the point. I’ll leave it to you whether or not to cross those items off. Be honest with yourself. You can’t cheat me on this one.

Christmas trees, wreaths, garlands, mistletoe, and holly. Those items are definitely religious, but not Christian. It’s hard to get more pagan than these. Cross them off.

Presents? Some of you will try to equate that with the gifts of the wise men. I’ll tell you that’s an excuse. Cross it off.

Spending time with friends and family? That’s one of the coolest things about the holidays. It’s also secular. One doesn’t need to be Christian or religious in any way to enjoy that.

All those Christmas specials, cross them off. OK, I’ll give you half credit for the Charlie Brown Christmas special. It actually recites pertinent gospel passages.

What’s left on your list? I can’t cover every possibility. How many of them have to do with religion? Odds are your list has been pretty pared down at this point assuming anything is left at all. This returns us to the original question from last year….

Which Christmas do you celebrate?

For many that answer is a purely secular one. For the rest of us the secular plays a huge role in what we celebrate.

You know what? There’s nothing wrong with that as long as we don’t pretend differently.

So that covers part of my response to the “put the Christ back in Christmas” posts. I’m simply quite comfortable with allowing people to keep the season in their own way. How they celebrate has no impact on the substance or quality of my celebration.

The other part of my emotional responses to those posts probably happens because the first one I saw this year started with something like “if you know me you won’t be offended by this”. The clear implication is that one shouldn’t be offended by and that in fact you’d be in the wrong if you were offended.

Trying to shape the conversation in such a way is a guaranteed way to get my back up. It’s simply not an honest way to discuss things.

It also screams, “Believe and act the way I do!” It gets dangerously close to wandering into the problem that I'm Christian unless you're gay gets in to.

I simply don’t get the idea of demanding that someone think, act, and feel the way I do. Life would be so boring if everyone thought and acted the way I do. No challenges to what I think and believe would be end of the development of what I think and believe. Heaven knows we’d all be better off if everyone just did what I thought was right, but even I’m not right 100% of the time. (Please understand the sarcasm inherent to that last comment.)

It’s really not hard to imagine how wearing it would be for religious non-Christians to hear “Merry Christmas” all the time. When you’re a minority you have to deal with such things, but the automatic assumption that you’re something that you’re not takes something away from you. It’s a constant reminder that to some degree you don’t belong.

My secular side really doesn’t like that idea. I’m a firm believer in the freedom of religion and freedom of thought. Telling someone they don’t belong as part of this community because they think or believe different rubs against the grain for me. It’s un-American to my point of view.

It’s not that different for my religious side. I’m deeply respectful of people of faith regardless of their sect, creed, etc. Truly religious Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, etc. find much to agree on. It’s those too hung up on dogma that get into religious fights.

To be honest, I’ve always been suspicious of those who try too hard to convert me to their way of thinking. I’ve had wonderful discussions on many hot button topics with people who are comfortable and secure in their point of view. Occasionally in those discussions I’ve learned something that either changes or refines my point of view. Then there are those “conversations” that quickly feel like a competition. The other guy is trying to convert me. It always feels like the only way they can prove their point to themselves is by converting me. They talk. They don’t listen. Some of those “Put the Christ back in Christmas” messages read that way.

In the end, it’s a fine line. “Putting Christ back into Christmas” is a nice reminder for those of who use the season to try to grow religiously. For those who are lost it can be pointer to a better way. If you’re a Jew or a Muslim it’s a slap in the face. Saying “It’s Merry Christmas not Happy Holidays” is a demand to be like me. It’s a declaration that being different is wrong. It’s a declaration that I don’t need to be conscious of the differences amongst us. “Merry Christmas” should not be offensive to anyone especially with the heavy secular use of the phrase now, but neither should “Happy Holidays.”

If you’re addressing me, either one will do. I'll appreciate the wishes for my wellbeing. Happy Hanukah will do as well or even a simple “Have a nice day.” I find it hard to be offended by wishes for my wellness. I hope others can be as tolerant when I don’t find the exact right words.

Whether or not you’ve made it this far here's my wish for you.

May you find meaning in this season of introspection and renewal. May you find happiness amongst those with whom you spend the season. May you find peace.