The Decision to Unfriend

Lately I’ve seen a number of posts on Facebook something like this:

If you’re wondering why I unfriended you, look at your posts.

If you advocated hate that might be why.

If you called for death to all that might be why.

If you support that might be why.

 If you….

We’ve all seen them, and I get it.  You jump on Facebook to interact with friends and families and you’re confronted with these posts that remind you that not only do some people think very differently than you, but some of them are filled with and motivated by hate.  Being quite about it is like allowing yourself to be abused, but speaking up is a lot like banging your head repeatedly on a brick wall.

Why put up with that kind of aggravation?

Why confront these people?

If you don’t, who will?  If you won’t engage with these people you will leave them only hearing the voices that got them where they currently are.  If you don’t present to them a different way, they’ll never see it themselves.

If you do decide to engage with these people be smart about it.  If you aren’t smart about it, it will likely devolve into a bunch of yelling.  That will be frustrating for you and possibly a good thing for them.  They may be looking for a pulpit.

Those who know me know that I’m willing to challenge ideas people present online.   Those who know me really well probably have noted there are plenty of opportunities go by.

Here’s my advice on when and how to respond.

1)      Be smart about who you engage.

If the original post is not by someone on your friend list, don’t chime in.  Just because a friend of a friend was invited to the conversation and responded doesn’t mean you’re invited.  Uninvited guests are rarely welcome.

If it’s someone on your friend list then in theory they’re a friend or acquaintance and you know enough to decide if engaging them is worth the effort.

2)      Know what you hope to get out of the discussion.

I go into every discussion with the intent to make the person logically defend what they have asserted.  If they can put together a reasoned argument in support of their view I can live with that without having to agree with them.  I’ve probably also learned something.

If your goal is to make the person concede to your point of view, that’s an argument, not a discussion.  In this case nothing in post will be of use to you.

3)      Be clear about your own values and feelings before you start.  Speed is not important.  Clarity is.

If you can’t explain your ideas and your objections to their ideas clearly to yourself then you’ll never be able to make them understand.    Know what you think before you start typing and certainly before hitting post.

Know the difference between fact, feeling, and opinion. 

Facts should be supportable by documentation

Feelings are driven by values and emotions.  Everyone’s feelings are equally valid, but no one’s feelings are the reason why something should be done or not done.

Opinion should be supportable by logic.  Rational, intelligent people can have different opinions when presented with the same facts.  That’s normal.  It’s ok to have differing opinions, but you better be able to support yours if you challenge others.

4)      Stay focused on ideas, values, and logic.

Do not get involved with name calling.  Ignore it when it’s thrown at you and read everything you type before you post to make certain you’ve avoided language that they’ll take as a person attack.

Don’t challenge their feelings.  They feel how they feel just like you feel how you feel.

To challenge facts you need to have facts to cite.  If you want to challenge the source of their facts you better be able to defend the source of yours.

To challenge logic you better be familiar with critical thinking and common fallacies in arguments.

There is of course a two edge sword here.  The best way to develop these skills is to have these kinds of discussions.  You might want to find a friendlier environment full of people who love to discuss things to practice before taking on people in an open forum like FaceBook.

5)      Stay on topic and don’t allow them to change the topic.

If you’re challenging someone’s assertion that red is a shade of green don’t start discussing how red is an element of purple.

After carefully describing the color wheel and how colors work and blend, you shouldn’t be surprised when they say “not all wheels are round” instead of responding to your statements.  A common reaction when confronted with the possibility of being wrong is to attempt to change the field of battle.  You are allowed at that moment to ignore the statement and keep discussing red and green.

6)      Remember the audience.

Remember that the person you’re having the discussion with is not the only person listening.  Even if you aren’t getting through to the original poster you may be educating other people on the topic.  If you can keep calm and cool and on topic you’ll likely have a much bigger impact on the quiet observers.

7)      Remember you might be wrong or mistaken.

Don’t forget to listen.  You may find they have a point.  You may find that they use words a little differently than you do , and you’re not as different as you originally thought.

Be prepared to say, “Oh, I get what you’re saying.  You’re right.”  I can’t count how many times I’ve watched people argue who actually agree with each other.  They just couldn’t agree on language.

8)      Walking away is always an option

At some point the discussion may start going around in circles rehashing the same ideas over and over again.  Hopefully you’ve made some effort to move it forward, but there will be a point where you’ll decide there’s nothing more to gain for either party.  At that point it’s perfectly OK to declare that the discussion is running in circles and if no one has anything new to bring to the conversation that it’s time to end it.  Don’t say their too stupid to hear you.  Just simply move on.

It has been said that “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.”

Hopefully the above ideas will encourage you to confront bad thinking and ideas when you see them and help you do it effectively.

Putting Christ in Christmas, the Red Cup Controversay, and Why It Doesn't Matter

Looking back at my very sporadic blog postings I see the holidays seem to be a dominate theme.

Thanksgiving Thoughts….

“Holiday” Thoughts

Which Christmas do you Celebrate?

Which Christmas to you Celebrate? Revisited

I find myself suddenly pulled back to this topic as I see the first “Put Christ back in Christmas” posts and of course all the fuss about Starbuck’s red cups and the “War on Christmas”.  You can read my past posts to get a feel for my general feelings on this topic and how they have changed over time.

As a Christian I find myself terribly conflicted by my reactions when these statements and controversies flare up.  I’m conflicted because I want to yell back at those folks.  I want to tell them to get over themselves.  I want to tell them that the Christmas they think they’re defending has precious little to do with Christ.  I want to tell them that aggressively insisting people celebrate the holidays in a way that that doesn’t impact their expectations isn’t terribly Christian.

Of course reacting like that is being guilty of the thing I’m complaining about.

It also isn’t very Christian per my understanding of Christianity.  It certainly isn’t very loving and is only being of service in a very aggressive interpretation of that term.

So I’ll take a deep breath and try to find a better response.

What is Christmas?

In this case I’m not interested in talking about the secular holiday or the mercantile holiday.  I am talking about the religious celebration.

I will start with the negative.

Christmas is not:

1.       Presents under the tree

2.       Decorated trees, other borrowed pagan symbols, or any other decoration

3.       Family gatherings

4.       Christmas Carols and other holiday music.

5.       TV Christmas specials

6.       Christmas pageants

7.       Christmas cards and letters

8.       A chance to celebrate backing the right horse and winning a get out of hell free card.

I could go on, but I think the point is made.  There are many things that delight us about the holiday.  There are many things that put is in a joyous mood.   I’m not saying they aren’t important, but they have nothing to do with the religious holiday.

All too often those are things that are really bothering people when they talk about the war on Christmas.  

So what is at the core of this holiday?  What do we need to keep our eye on to avoid getting distracted when others go about this holiday in different fashion?

For me what’s central to Christmas is very simple.

Christmas is a promise.  Not just a promise that something very special happened 2000 years ago.  It’s a promise that something very special is still going on today.

Yes, there’s music that’s particularly meaningful to me.  Yes, there’s one particular Christmas show I watch every year.  Yes, I’ll do everything I can to spend time with my family and friends.  And yes, there will be some negative impact on my mood if those things don’t happen.

But none of that changes the promise.

May the promise be in your heart through the whole season, and may its presence heighten your joys and carry you through the lows.

The Race
A Parable of Modern Business (and Government)

Once upon a time there was a Red rowing team.

This Red team agreed to hold an annual rowing race with a Green team. Each team would contain 8 men.

Both teams worked really hard to get in the best shape.

On the day of the first race, both teams were ready to win. 

The Green team won by 1 mile.

The Red team was crushed in their defeat, but they were determined to win the race next year. So they established a panel of auditors to observe the situation and ascertain if there were any differences between the teams.

After several weeks of detailed intelligence gathering, the auditors could find only one difference; the Green team had 7 rowers and 1 captain...

… and the Red team had 7 captains and 1 rower!

Un-perplexed by the raw data, upper management showed unexpected wisdom: they hired a consulting company to analyze the data and suggest a solution that would enable the Red team to win next year.

After several months the consultants came to  the conclusion that the ratio of captains to rowers was the problem in the Red team.

Based on this analysis a solution was proposed: the structure of the Red team has to be changed!

Like sharks getting the scent of reorganization blood, upper management wasted no time in restructuring the Red team into 4 Captains, led by 2 Managers, reporting to 1 Senior Director with a dotted line to the rower. Besides that, in a blaze of unrestricted inspiration, they suggested they might be inclined to improve the rower’s working environment by a non-monetary reward and recognition scheme if there was improved performance by the rower.

The next year.....

The Green team won by 2 miles.

The Red team upper management immediately fired the rower  based on his unsatisfactory performance.

A bonus was paid to the Captains, Directors, and Managers for the strong leadership and motivation they showed during the preparation phase and as an incentive for them to find a better rower for the next race.

The consulting company prepared a new analysis of the restructuring activity, which showed that the strategy was good, the motivation was great, the restructuring was executed correctly, but the tool used (which was not included in the original data) was sub-standard and had to be improved.


Currently the Red team management is having a new boat designed.


To demonstrate fiscal and HR dexterity for stockholders they also outsourced the rowing to India.

Which Christmas do You Celebrate? Revisited

As I saw the first few “put the Christ back in Christmas” and “It’s Merry Christmas not Happy Holidays” posts this year I found myself reacting to them differently than I have in past years. Instead of being in mild agreement I found myself feeling a bit offended.

After thinking on it a bit I realized the start of this change was present in my entry from last year, Which Christmas do You Celebrate? The short version on that one is that I’m quite comfortable with the idea that there are multiple celebrations, both secular and religious, going on this time of year. In fact, I’m likely to be involved with celebration at multiple levels both religious and secular.

Before I expand on that a bit take a minute or two and jot down all the things you can think of that you associate with Christmas. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

Feel free to take another minute. I’ll go get something to drink.

OK, ready?

Now look at your list. First, cross off everything that mentioned food or drink. Odds are very low that any of that has anything to do with Christ.

Got music on that list? OK, there are definitely some religious options in there. But if it’s “Silver Bells” or “Carol of the Bells” or “Walking in a Winter Wonderland” or…. Well you get the point. I’ll leave it to you whether or not to cross those items off. Be honest with yourself. You can’t cheat me on this one.

Christmas trees, wreaths, garlands, mistletoe, and holly. Those items are definitely religious, but not Christian. It’s hard to get more pagan than these. Cross them off.

Presents? Some of you will try to equate that with the gifts of the wise men. I’ll tell you that’s an excuse. Cross it off.

Spending time with friends and family? That’s one of the coolest things about the holidays. It’s also secular. One doesn’t need to be Christian or religious in any way to enjoy that.

All those Christmas specials, cross them off. OK, I’ll give you half credit for the Charlie Brown Christmas special. It actually recites pertinent gospel passages.

What’s left on your list? I can’t cover every possibility. How many of them have to do with religion? Odds are your list has been pretty pared down at this point assuming anything is left at all. This returns us to the original question from last year….

Which Christmas do you celebrate?

For many that answer is a purely secular one. For the rest of us the secular plays a huge role in what we celebrate.

You know what? There’s nothing wrong with that as long as we don’t pretend differently.

So that covers part of my response to the “put the Christ back in Christmas” posts. I’m simply quite comfortable with allowing people to keep the season in their own way. How they celebrate has no impact on the substance or quality of my celebration.

The other part of my emotional responses to those posts probably happens because the first one I saw this year started with something like “if you know me you won’t be offended by this”. The clear implication is that one shouldn’t be offended by and that in fact you’d be in the wrong if you were offended.

Trying to shape the conversation in such a way is a guaranteed way to get my back up. It’s simply not an honest way to discuss things.

It also screams, “Believe and act the way I do!” It gets dangerously close to wandering into the problem that I'm Christian unless you're gay gets in to.

I simply don’t get the idea of demanding that someone think, act, and feel the way I do. Life would be so boring if everyone thought and acted the way I do. No challenges to what I think and believe would be end of the development of what I think and believe. Heaven knows we’d all be better off if everyone just did what I thought was right, but even I’m not right 100% of the time. (Please understand the sarcasm inherent to that last comment.)

It’s really not hard to imagine how wearing it would be for religious non-Christians to hear “Merry Christmas” all the time. When you’re a minority you have to deal with such things, but the automatic assumption that you’re something that you’re not takes something away from you. It’s a constant reminder that to some degree you don’t belong.

My secular side really doesn’t like that idea. I’m a firm believer in the freedom of religion and freedom of thought. Telling someone they don’t belong as part of this community because they think or believe different rubs against the grain for me. It’s un-American to my point of view.

It’s not that different for my religious side. I’m deeply respectful of people of faith regardless of their sect, creed, etc. Truly religious Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, etc. find much to agree on. It’s those too hung up on dogma that get into religious fights.

To be honest, I’ve always been suspicious of those who try too hard to convert me to their way of thinking. I’ve had wonderful discussions on many hot button topics with people who are comfortable and secure in their point of view. Occasionally in those discussions I’ve learned something that either changes or refines my point of view. Then there are those “conversations” that quickly feel like a competition. The other guy is trying to convert me. It always feels like the only way they can prove their point to themselves is by converting me. They talk. They don’t listen. Some of those “Put the Christ back in Christmas” messages read that way.

In the end, it’s a fine line. “Putting Christ back into Christmas” is a nice reminder for those of who use the season to try to grow religiously. For those who are lost it can be pointer to a better way. If you’re a Jew or a Muslim it’s a slap in the face. Saying “It’s Merry Christmas not Happy Holidays” is a demand to be like me. It’s a declaration that being different is wrong. It’s a declaration that I don’t need to be conscious of the differences amongst us. “Merry Christmas” should not be offensive to anyone especially with the heavy secular use of the phrase now, but neither should “Happy Holidays.”

If you’re addressing me, either one will do. I'll appreciate the wishes for my wellbeing. Happy Hanukah will do as well or even a simple “Have a nice day.” I find it hard to be offended by wishes for my wellness. I hope others can be as tolerant when I don’t find the exact right words.

Whether or not you’ve made it this far here's my wish for you.

May you find meaning in this season of introspection and renewal. May you find happiness amongst those with whom you spend the season. May you find peace.

Proud to be an American?

This is one of those holidays we're I'll start hearing “I’m proud to be an American” voiced by many.

Perhaps it's my inner curmudgeon but…..

I'm not proud to be an American.

I was born and raised in America. I have benefited from many of the opportunities and resources available here. While things certainly aren't perfect, they're far better than many parts of the world.

So why don't I say that I'm proud to be an American?

There are a few that have sweated, toiled, bled, and even laid their lives on the line to build and protect this country.

I am not one of them.

I have benefited greatly by their efforts and sacrifices but not paid the price myself.

Oh, I've whined and complained about various problems and inequities, but like most I've done very little about them.

When all is said and done, what have I done to lay claim to the word “proud” in relation to America?

Like so many people, I am blessed to be an American.

I will not dishonor the few and claim that I am proud to be an American.

I cannot rejoice.....

I cannot rejoice in the death of one man. Somewhere, someone mourns the loss of a son, a brother, a father. Killing makes all of us smaller. Death exacts a toll from all of us.

But I do rejoice in the end of a symbol. A symbol that fed on death and hate for it's own ends. A symbol that fed death and hate to others to make them useful tools. A symbol that had no toleration for anything different. A symbol that said that if you don't agree with me then you are less than nothing. If you don't agree, then you should die.

The death of one man won't end the lunacy. The end of the symbol, may slow it down.

Where hate is sown, death will be reaped. A whole lot of hate has been sown. All over the world by all kinds of people.

The lunacy isn't over yet.

Which Christmas do You Celebrate?

People who know me are probably quite used to hearing me bemoan Christmas before Thanksgiving. This year I've noticed something about those conversations. It's always been there but for some reason I hadn't noticed it. Those conversations almost universally turn into conversations where people bemoan the materialism that has been injected into Christmas and the lack of Jesus in Christmas.

That's a very different conversation than the one I started.

For some reason I was thinking about this as we drove home Friday and came up with the following opinions.

Does the materialism that surrounds Christmas bother me? Sure it does, but no more than the general materialism that runs through and drives our culture. For me it's not really an issue about Christmas. It's an issue about the central values that drive our society.

Now when it comes to "putting the Christ back in Christmas" I find myself amazingly ambivalent. We live in a secular society where the majority of people may well identify themselves as belonging to this or that religious group but in reality don't participate at any level in religion. There are other large segments that are actively involved in their religions but aren't Christians. Neither group is going to be celebrating the holiday that some seem to be missing.

Let us face the reality that there is more than one holiday called Christmas. On one hand we have the religious holiday celebrating the birth of Jesus and the coming promise of what can be. On the other hand we have a secular holiday celebrating family, generosity, and general goodwill and tolerance. That hardly seems to be something that anyone professing belief in any of the word's major religions should have a problem with.

Now I can hear some voices going "but they stole our holiday!"

My gut reaction to that is to say "get over it," but let's look at this dispassionately.

1. The holidays are not mutually exclusive nor do they have to detract from one another. 
2. We stole the date and most of trimmings from various pagan groups.  
3. Most of the language of the religious holiday is even borrowed from an older tradition.

I'm not going to go into details on these points. I'll simply say that I'm not worried that the secular holiday is going to steal members from the club.

So time for me to answer the question in the title - which Christmas to I celebrate?

Over the next few weeks I'll certainly spend some time pondering my faith, trying to understand how I can live it better, and looking for some new ways to see and understand it.

Also over the next few weeks I'll be seeing and talking to some family members I don't routinely see. I'll enjoy having Rich and Amber visit (at least most of the time). I'll get some decorations up. I may well do charitable acts I may not have otherwise gotten to. Maybe even smile at and greet a few strangers on the street.

I guess I'll celebrate both Christmas's.

Book List on the Sidebar

I decided to add something new on the sidebar.

It's a list of books that I believe have something significant to say about our world, how we perceive it, and our place within it.  

While I am open to suggestions for other books to list I will only list non-fiction books that I have personally read and that I feel have no specific political, social, or religious ax to grind.  

While it's impossible to get away from any kind of agenda, if the author's agenda gets in the way of picking out the useful information, it won't be listed.

Fiction can speak strongly to many important issues, but since it relates the message through set up environments and characters, it often leaves us with an emotional response but no real blueprint about how to use it in the real word.

Somewhere there's a story

bear
Originally uploaded by havatar

A few weeks ago while cutting the lawn I found this bear laying in the street along the curb. A little white bear holding a red rose mounted on a wooden block with the following inscription burned in.

Me and you
You and me
That's the way
It'll always be

Somewhere there's a story attached to this bear.

Did some person think so little of the relationship they were in that they threw the little guy out the window?

Did someone get it to give to some special person only to have them laugh at it and toss it away?

Is there someone somewhere heart broken at the loss of a precious token of affection from some special person?

There are many variations of the above, and while I am curious, I'll likely never know the story behind the bear. Even so, I just couldn't toss it away. Maybe someone will come looking for it. So I placed it upright on the curb instead of the street thinking maybe someone would see it and reclaim the story or start a new one. And I went back to cutting the lawn.

A few days later my wife asked me about the bear out in our lawn. I gave the quick story. She told me it was no longer on the curb. I looked out, and sure enough it had moved across the parkway and was now sitting beside our sidewalk, and instead of facing the street in now faced the house. Someone had added another chapter to the bear's story. Another chapter that I'll probably never know.

A few days after that we had some rain. Later I found the wet bear laying in the grass. That just didn't seem right so I moved him up on to our mailbox post where you seem him in the picture. He gets lots of sun there so he dries out fairly quickly. He's still visible from the road. Sometimes when the mail gets delivered he falls off. his sense of balance is apparently lacking.

He sits out there, day and night, rain or shine. Sits there holding his rose. Sits there waiting for someone to come along and finish the story on a happier note.

I suspect that after a month or two of sitting out in the rain and sun that I'll have no choice but to dispose of the bear. But I can't helping hoping for better ending.

Back from Vegas

Vegas_110
Originally uploaded by havatar

Just got back from a business trip to Las Vegas.

Every time I go to Vegas I leave with the feeling that the city is the ultimate example of "build it and they will come." It doesn't produce anything tangible, yet most cities envy the cash that flows through it.

If you want a quick lesson in marketing and how the human mind works, just wander through the casinos as you wander along the strip. Notice where things are placed. Notice where traffic is encouraged to flow. Look at the high priced bling sellers right outside the bathrooms to take advantage of the people waiting for others to come out.

Capitalism in its' most pure form.

Arabian Nights

Arabian Nights 00050
Originally uploaded by havatar

While we were down in Florida we went to the Arabian Nights Dinner Theater. A good show. I'd almost say a definite if you love horses or have kids who love horses.

Horses....

Princesses.....

Genie.....

Gypsies....

Cowboys and chariots?

OK so they bend the genre a bit but it was fun. I'd also suggest that the VIP package is worth the few extra bucks. You get to walk around in the main arena and stable area before the show and see some of the actors and horses up close.

STS-120 Launch

Just back from Florida where I watched NASA launch an old friend of mine into orbit. He got to space walk yesterday too. You can watch it all live on NASA TV which you can find on the web if your cable or dish doesn't have it.

And then there's my pictures...

An Interesting Wake Up

This has been an interesting morning.

I'm pretty security conscious.

Imagine my surprise when I pulled up my e-mail this morning and found 2 e-mails from blogger in response to my request for information on my account.

Oh, and someone opened an account at another site using my e-mail address.

Now one without the other gets my interest but it's easy to figure someone was fat fingering something. Both together.... well, that makes me wonder.

Now that notice I got about the new account at that other site included the login and password. The login is similar enough to mine that it could still be a simple mistake. The info from that account gives me a decent indication of who that person is and which part of the word they're from.

I've sent a note to that site asking them to close down that account. So if you're reading this and that account goes dead. Now you know why.

One of the reasons I like Havatar as a name is that no one else uses it. Is this a simple weird case of someone suddenly latching onto the same name or is something else afoot? Time will tell.

The Black Hills May 2005

The New Doctor Who

Who's been watching the new Doctor Who episodes on SciFi? I for one. Also many people I talk to.

Let's see....

irreverent....

funny....

serious....

Yep, that's Doctor Who all right.

So why do I hear so many long time Doctor Who fans saying that they "think they like it"?

Perhaps it's as simple as it takes a little time to get used to a new Doctor. That's typical. A new doctor, a new director, a new producer... that all adds up to some changes. Some subtle. Some not so subtle. It takes a few episodes to get your expectations in line.

I suspect there's another issue as well: The difference between writing 20+ minute serial episodes and writing for a 1 hour time format.

If you look at the old Doctor Who's you'll note that typical story was made up of 4 to 6 episodes, but the range seems to go all the way from 2 to 7 excluding a hand full of exceptions. (The Five Doctors was shown as one episode, The Dalek Masterplan was 12 of which only 2 still exist, The Invasion was 8 of which only 6 still exist, and The War Games was 10.)

Working with 20+ minute chuncks of time they could craft the story to be pretty much exactly the length it needed to be within the constraint of having to have a cliffhanger at the end of each of those time segments.

The new 1 hour chunk of time is really equivalent to 2 episodes meaning content wise they can do the equivalent of an even number of episodes of the old format.

What if they have an idea that would have been best handled with 3, 5, or 7 episodes in the old format? Quite simply, they'll need to squeeze something out or add padding.

In the handful of episodes I've seen of the new show I haven't really noted all that much padding, but there have been a few ocaissions we I felt like they went from step 3 to step 4 1/2 of the story logic.

Asking Doctor Who to be logical is probably not appropriate, but typically Doctor Who stories do procede in such a way that when you look back on the story from the end you can follow the logic of what happened from a story perspective. A few of the new stories have made some interesting leaps, and I think that's where that "think" word comes in when people say they like the new show.

If you want to dig into some Doctor Who stuff.....

episode details indexed by season.
The Doctor Who Wav Archive
SciFi Channel's Doctor Who Site
BBC Doctor Who Site (Notice that there's yet another new Doctor)

But honestly, just search "Doctor Who" on Google, and you'll find all the resources you could ever want.

Sorry about the pause

I'm sorry about the long pause in posting and responding to comments. There have been some real world issues that had to take precedence.

While I get my thoughts back together..... a few of my favorite quotes.

"The first key to wisdom is constant and frequent questioning, for by doubting we are led to question and by questioning we arrive at the truth" - Peter Abelard

"Mere precedent is a dangerous source of authority" - Andrew Jackson

Court diversity of thought and opinion. Great solutions come from many different sources.

Pain is inevitable, but misery is optional.

"Pay attention to your enemies, for they are the first to discover your mistakes." - Antisthenes

"In matters of conscience, the law of majority has no place." - Mahatma Gandhi

"Creativity comes from a conflict of ideas." - Donatella Versace

"The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo." - Art Buchwald

No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize a cat.

I've got a lot more, but this will do for now. Anyone care to share a few of there own?

"Holiday" thoughts

I must admit to experiencing a great deal of mirth when reading an article the other day (`Merry Holiday' to all and to some a Christmas fight). This article discussed how some conservative Christian groups were considering suing cities and organizations that had "holiday trees" instead of "Christmas trees".

Now I have to be certain you understand the source of that mirth. It is not that someone is using lawyers to sue over what they perceive to be a religious issue, although that is pretty funny to my way of thinking.

It is not that I want to see Christmas increasingly secularized (I don't) and find it funny to watch a futile effort by a bunch of religious fanatics to stop it. (BTW, I don't know these people so I don't know if they're fanatics, die hard believers, people of faith, or whatever.)

I find it funny that conservative Christian groups are considering spending a lot of time, effort, and money to save a great pagan symbol.

If that statement surprises you, don't be surprised. Especially if you're from North America or Europe. The cultures in these areas don't really encourage people to look to deeply into their religious thoughts. Look to deep and you might question. Search for answers to those questions and you might discover that most of the existing religious institutions pretty actively resist change. Bureaucracy and change is a bad mix. Change potentially undermines the foundation of the authority of the bureaucracy.

But it's the nature of life to change. The only things in life that don't change are dead or inanimate. Growth is change, and growth often leads to newer better understanding.

So let's ask a few questions about Christmas.

Why December the 25th?

Nowhere in the Bible does it say that Jesus was born on the xth day of the month of ______.

In fact, only 2 of the gospels, Matthew and Luke, contain birth stories. I use the plural because they are in fact 2 different stories. Maybe it's a simple case of which facts the authors chose to include, or maybe it's a case of the storytellers having different points to make. Still the stories are different. Go ahead and read them again if you doubt me. But first, forget everything you've been taught about the story so you can read them as if for the very first time.

If you take the Bible literally (I do not), you run into a problem with the December 25th date. There are simply images generated in there that are not consistent with a December time frame in Bethlehem. Add in the traditional pictures of baby animals running around and it gets even worse, although I'm more than willing to write off those pictures as detail added by later storytellers.

So where did the date come from?

Most of us today are so far removed from our agrarian roots that we have no concept of just how important the sun is to farmers. To grow crops you need good soil, you need rain (just the right amount), and you need sun. When your whole economy is based on food production, the whole society pays attention. Look at the pantheons of the old agrarian societies and you will find a powerful sun god, a powerful storm god, and a powerful earth goddess. You want to know what's important to a society, look carefully at their gods.

What does this have to do with December 25th?

In the northern hemisphere the shortest day of the year occurs on December 20th or 21st. December 25th is the day when people can first start to perceive that the days are actually getting longer. If the Sun is important to you, this is an important day, and important days are great excuses for parties.

Our forefathers in the Christian tradition (Sorry, but by this time the patriarchy had definitely take over) were not stupid people. It can be hard to attract and keep new members when there's a great party going on across the street. Also, at least until the time of Constantine, Christian's never knew if they'd be greeted warmly or persecuted. It didn't hurt to blend in. In their great wisdom they decided December 25th would be a great time to celebrate the birth of Jesus.

So what does this have to do with the Christmas tree?

Our forefathers certainly didn't get stupid over time. Even after Christianity became the official religion of the Roman Empire, it still had to work hard to overcome centuries of tradition when assimilating a new group into the Christian world. Many of the variations in how Christmas is celebrated around the world are in fact the result of various customs and symbols that were incorporated from the old ways to ease people into Christianity.

The decoration of trees is one of those customs.

It's that simple. The decoration of trees comes from a pagan background and was incorporated into Christmas as a conversion methodology.

If knowing these stories harms your enjoyment of Christmas, I apologize. Personally, I find knowing the story and details behind the symbols and traditions of my life makes me appreciate them more.

You may see these stories as examples of survival methodology or bureaucratic desire for growth, but let me present a different angle. These stories also present a picture of Christianity's ability to embrace the other and welcome anyone in.

Have a Merry Christmas,
a Happy Hanukkah,
a Happy Kwanzaa,
a Joy Filled Eid,
and a Merry secular mercantile holiday.

- Havatar
- One does not build tolerance by hiding differences. You build tolerance by celebrating them.

Thanksgiving thoughts.....

I used to get bent out of shape when I saw Christmas stuff in the stores before Thanksgiving. Now it's a moot point. The Christmas stuff is in the stores before Halloween.

Having a Christian religion holiday become a secular mercantile holiday impinge on a national holiday devoted to giving thanks for what we have deserves our scorn. As a Christian holiday Christmas is about celebrating the coming promise. It's about looking forward to what can and perhaps should be. It's about hope. As a secular mercantile holiday Christmas is about feeling good by spending money on things to give to other people.

Thanksgiving on the other hand is about looking back and taking stock. It's about understanding where we are and where we have been. While this is certainly not opposed to the Christian holiday of looking forward to and celebrating the coming promise, etc., the two are separate activities and each deserve to considered with our full attention.

As far as Thanksgiving's interaction with the secular mercantile holiday, I prefer the idea of contemplating all I should be thankful for instead of hurrying myself in to the process of worrying about obtaining 47 different gifts for people of various ages and interests, thinking about how much money to give to the bell ringer with the red pot, should I tip the garbage man, should I tip the mail person, figuring out which lights on the strings have failed and replacing them before putting them on the fake tree which the cats are going to knock over anyway, how to possibly take the rest of the vacation time I have to take before the end of the year while still getting projects done that need to be done by the end of the year, rehearsing for all the stuff at church, not to speak about already having to deal with the fallout from the fact that this year Christmas is on a Sunday and guess who's usher team is on duty that day.

We spend so much time trying to wring the joy out of Christmas in honor of a robust economy that we end up shorting the joy of Thanksgiving down to a single day or two. Why do we do this to ourselves?

And now the secular mercantile holiday has crept up on and over the quasi-religious holiday become a day for children to beg for candy. (Perhaps a better description would be extort for candy. Trick or treat is after all a kind of threat.) One wonders how long until it creeps past Labor Day. But then, just like Halloween, one also wonders how many people ever think about what the Labor Day holiday is about beyond having the last cookout of the year and shutting down the summer cabin.

The Christmas season is a make or break thing for many retailers. They at best break even across the rest of the year. In their competition for your dollar they stretch this important holiday out. They start the sales even sooner. The result is that they begin to rob other holidays of their time and their meaning. But only if you let them.

I don't do my Christmas shopping in October, but if I happened to see the perfect present for Uncle Jake, I'd grab it. But then again, if it were that perfect, I might not wait until December to give it to him.

Give each time it's due, but don't let the calendar rule your life.

Take the time to be thankful and to hope, and don't let the powers that be tell you when to do each.

And so it begins....

I was looking at my daughter's site (A 4th level Games Chick's Tome of Knowledge) and suddenly decided it was time to do the same.

I'll use this area to ponder ideas big and small and hold them up to the scathing light of reason of the vast public. We'll see which ones survive intact, which ones get modified, and which ones crash and burn.

It'll be fun.

I have a great respect for ideas both serious and whimsical. I simply ask that if you comment on a post that you do also.

Attack ideas - not those who posted and commented on them.

Push ideas to the limit - with the understanding that we're all doing this to refine and hone them.

Don't worry about political correctness - but don't insult simply to insult.

The official motto will be:

"The aim of an argument or discussion should be progress, not victory." - Joseph Joubert